romans invented cuckolds,
aqueducts, crushing, and crucifixion.
they ordered sun horns
from the god of doors,
they buried their doors
on the 15th of each month
and counted down
until either everyone waved a flag
or one person didn’t have a seat.
jefe is what I’d be called
if I was born in madrid.
I would love being born in spain
because there’s a taboo
that gets broken
when you have sand between your toes.
whenever there is frozen ground between you and your bride,
the distance between shouting
and whispering is what it takes
to club a seal.
the presidential seal
doesn’t do tricks for snacks.
it is an eagle holding a clutch of arrows
and branches of branch.
this of course symbolizes the nation’s desire
to plant bullets.
we have the right to pursuit,
but we don’t want to have to slam our screen doors
or pay for public radio hosts
that bunch of honduran granola
paper news delivery serial enunciation thugs.
the deepest questions never bloom in the hands of magicians.
they come in the lock jawed mouths of ukrainian orphans.
the results are in:
gorbachev completely ruined my encyclopedia set.
lemons fear a bitter end
and entrepreneurial girls.
I don’t have a mind for business,
but I do have a business for mimes:
I would hire 5-7,
have them pretend to mash sorghum.
stand in a circle hand in hand,
lip sync songs about their jewish sleepover camps
then break for snack under union rules.
got a smoke?
if you do, there’s a warning on:
do not attempt at home.
professional driver on closed course.
some doctors are patients.
lunesta isn’t for everyone.
if you get an erection lasting longer than 7 hours,
you better find someone to fuck the alphabet with
including consonants,
the goyim of letters.
put them together, you’ll see
they make button-nosed football stars
who hunt and seek highway bypasses
without paying tolls.
they grill sausage.
if I was judas, I would have kissed the guy next to jesus
and said here’s god,
rendering the kiss superfluous.
he would have been crucified
and when they moved the rock,
he’d be in the cave,
and today, there’d be a people
who worship choosing
the wrong guy.
my mom loves the smell of coffee
but won’t buy a church
or pray in a volkswagen.
she’d rather hire a rabbi to drive her
to target to buy donut holes
and vitamins.
shut up and open the envelope.
we twice pulled over to kiss
while the engine was running,
making sure to put the car in park
because we’re responsible kissers.
other than that it was spontaneous and heroic.
I began wearing a cape.
whenever veronica passes me in the hallway.
I am never sure if we are going to hug hello
or iron each other’s mouths.
I am fine with not knowing—
things must happen naturally
for hope.
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